I Hate Love -GamKar-

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are stupid.

You have just confessed your infatuation with the Egbert human and got shut down faster that you could say 'bucket'. You had waited for the blue 'i love you too, karkat' to secure it, but all that came was 'oh, karkat, i'm not a homosexual...'. And you feel impossibly and totally stupid.

You are now in a corner of your room, knees drawn to your chest and your face buried against them in a vain attempt to silence your sobs. You are just wondering what would have ever to believe your feelings would be reciprocated when you hear footsteps enter your room.

"Hey, Karbro..."

You look up, blinking through a haze of pastel red at your moirail, Gamzee. He kneels on his knees in front of you, a hand rubbing your arm. You rest the heels of your hands on your eyes. "Gamzee, please..." You say slowly, emotionally exhausted. "Please just leave..."

"I can't leave without makin' sure my palebro's all up and okay," Gamzee replies, but he recoils his hand anyway. "What all up and happened anyway?"

"... John..." You say quietly, timidly. "... I told him... that I'm flushed for him... and he doesn't feel the same way..." You feel tears well in your eyes again, and there is a hand to wipe them away now.

"Hey, if he can't be all flushed for you, then he ain't worth it." Gamzee says, hand affectionately ruffling your hair. "You're the best bro a troll could have, and anyone would be blessed as can be if you can even stand them, y'know?"

"... Gamzee please... just go..."

"Kar-"

"Please." You look at him pleadingly, wanting to be alone so you can begin sobbing again.
Gamzee's expression flicks from acceptance to defiance, seemingly unsure of whether to go or stay. "Kar, I'm not gonna le-"

"Gamzee." You say, your voice unexpectedly sharp. "Go."

"Why are ya' so mad all of a sudden?"

You look at him in surprise for a moment before your face falls. You hang your head, tears beginning to fall from your face again. "... Because I'm so stupid... I'm such an idiot that I thought that he'd ever love me..." You put your hands over your face, trying to stop the tears pooling against your palms. "I'm stupid. That's all there is to say. I'm stupid." You say through gritted teeth, digging your claws into your temples.

"Hey hey, none of that." Gamzee says gently, removing your hands from your face and planting kisses over each of the newly formed cuts. "I won't have you all up and hurtin' yourself over someone you can't have."

Can't have.

Those two words make you flinch, and you can't hold yourself back anymore- you lunge for Gamzee, burying your face in his chest and sobbing. Gamzee pauses for a moment before wrapping his arms around you, stroking your hair.

"That's it, Karbro. Just cry for a bit."

"B-But I've been crying for forever!" You sob out into his shirt, clinging tightly to him.
He scratches the top of your head, right where he knows it makes you calm down- right between your horns.

You sigh in defeat, settling against Gamzee as the, for the moment, last of your tears slide down your face and soak into Gamzee's shirt.

Your moirail continues scratching your head, raking his fingers through your hair. "Kar, it'll be okay. I promise."

You look up at him in disbelief- how can anything be okay ever again?

"Man, I can't tell you how many times I've tried to get Tav. He just shuts me down, over and over again. It can't be helped. You can't do anything for John's opinion, and I can't do anything for Tav's. But you don't see me sheddin' indigo over it." Gamzee says with a shrug, holding you closer to him. "It'll be fine, I promise, okay? Just trust me."

"... Gog I hate love..."

"... I do too, Karbro, I do too."